Let’s get caught up on all the things that irked me over winter, shall we?
All things “crack”…
This refers to all the holiday treats, or anytime treats really, that “are like crack” called “crack” or otherwise elude to some sort of crack-ness. I offer up exhibit A (from Pinterest) for your need to know:
with the caption “It’s so good and sure does live up to its name cuz this stuff is addicting!”
If you’re not on Pinterest (what do you do with all your free time?!) just google “Christmas Crack” for the 14 million different recipes.
Hmmm… Let’s think about this a moment. Because maybe you don’t know what crack is. What you’re saying is that this heap of chocolate and peanuts and empty calories will make me drain my bank account, lie to my family, steal, and otherwise turn my life completely upside down from the side effects of a serious addiction to a horrible and deadly drug? Are you saying that if I eat this, I will be found a few days later downtown in a cardboard lean-to with dry lips, pimping myself out for “just a few pieces”? Do I need a pipe?
Look, I get the meaning behind it. But can we please stop glorifying drug use. Or at the very least stop overusing the idea of crack? Saying something is like crack shouldn’t be positive. I’ve never tried crack, but from what I’ve seen on The Chappelle Show, crack is wack and I don’t want any part of it so if you show up at my holiday get-together with a tin of this nonsense, I’m going to smack it out of your grip and stage an impromptu intervention.
“It’s Merry Christmas not Happy Holidays!!”
What the fuck is this even about? There are some grumpy muthereffers on my Facebook feed, and the HOLIDAYS brings out the worst in them. There was more than one long rant about this topic and “how this is America and if you don’t like it you can leave” regarding how to properly greet your fellow Americans during the season. Simmer down, ya’ll. Saying Happy Holidays doesn’t make me a commie. Or a Muslim. Or anti- American. As a matter of fact, it doesn’t make me PRO or ANTI anything.
I happen to say Happy Holidays because A) I’m lazy and B) sometimes the person I am addressing (maybe the office paper delivery guy) won’t be at my door again until after the New Year. So, If I say HH, I cover all my bases and he knows I wish him well for the next several weeks. Yes, sometimes I say it because the person I am speaking to is Jewish, or I don’t know what they celebrate. But I don’t say it to include or exclude and group of persons. And honestly who the hell cares what I say? If someone takes the 20 seconds to greet me over the season, I am touched. It’s the gesture that matters, not the celebration. Now, I don’t use Happy Holidays exclusively; I love to say Merry Christmas! But I don’t want some backwards thinking zealot telling me what the appropriate way to spread my cheer is. So Happy Thanksgiving, Festivus, Newtonmas, Christmas, Hanukkah, New Years Eve, New Years Day and whatever else falls in between November whatever to January 3. If you already know “the reason for the season” stop being such a prick.
Adults Dissing kids
So there was a nasty article about the First Kids that ran sometime during the last few months. It was stupid. In both content and the brouhaha is started. ICYMI, some GOP staffer made some remarks about the demeanor and dress of the Obama gals. Did it need to be front page, viral news? Maybe not, but I found it absolutely disgusting , not for it’s politics, but for the fact that a grown ass woman was standing in judgement of children. THIS is what is wrong with society. This woman is an adult, why should she concern herself with the goings-on of kiddos? Oh, because the kids are “important”? Yeah, they may represent the Free World, but they are still just two girls trying to grow up , and they’re doing it in a fishbowl. And sometimes they aren’t going to live up to whatever expectations we put on them.
Sadly this wasn’t an isolated incident. Not only are the Obama girls often thrust into the unflattering spotlight, so are most celebrity kids. And the comments and captions I read are deplorable. This is one of the reasons I no longer read gossip mags. It’s gross to objectify children that way. You don’t know these kids. They are humans and are entitled to shitty days and tantrums and stained shirts just like the rest of us. These kids aren’t “special” – not in the way society makes them out to be. Why are we so obsessed with other people’s kids anyways?
And it’s happening everyday to regular joe kids on a daily basis. Via social media, adults are taking to bullying children. And so much of this is female on little female hate. WTF?!? I remember what it was like to be an awkward tween, an overdeveloped teen and a mistake making young adult. That shit is hard. Hard enough without some immature 30-something trolling your twitter. Enough of this. If you are an adult, it is your civic obligation to build up the youth of our community. When you engage in the ever-so-easy virtual shit talking of people you don’t even know, it says more about you than it does about them.
People who only have perfect lives or shit lives. No in between
Holy balls!!The amount of people posting their daily affirmations or daily shit storm lately is redic. There are a few people who are one step away from a breakdown, either way you look at it. And they’re on opposite ends of the posting spectrum. They either have the perfect boyfriend/wife/kids job Or the worst girlfriend/husband/kids/job. I’m inundated with what seems like a bipolar newsfeed, either with their status updates or their shares or their memes and gifs. From the not-so-humble brag to the not-so-subtle cry for attention, this ish is getting on my nerves. Look, we all have great/bad days. I get it. I know I’m super guilty of the overshare, but maybe we should keep the dirty and clean laundry to ourselves and just share our pet pics, food and random mean thoughts? You know, like normal people. You have nothing to prove to any of your “friends”. And really,if you happen to be my age and you don’t have your shit together by now, it ain’t gonna happen for you. Stop letting all of us know about it.
Overcoming a Struggle
It seems like quite a few people out there in the world are really struggling. And by “struggling” I mean living a normal life like the rest of us but complaining about it like a bunch of chumps. Yes, there are people out there with real issues. But there are quite a few people out there on “journeys” that just seem like real life to me.
You know what, life is hard. It’s uphill quite a bit. Being a grown up was oversold to us as kids. You can’t really be anything you want to be. We all have limits. We all fall. We all make mistakes. We are all a little broken. Not a one of us is perfect. Get over it. Traffic is not a struggle. Wanting more but not putting in the effort is not a struggle. Having a douchebag significant other is not a struggle. Having to be a parent is not a struggle. A broken iPhone is not a struggle. Stop selling your unhappiness to the the rest of us as your “journey”.
You know who has a legit struggle? The neighbor with cancer. A family who has lost their mother. A single parent who works two jobs to feed his kids.